Brief History

So I was raised Catholic. My mom was raised Catholic, and so was her mother. It's the family religion. I went to a Catholic elementary school (where I first met Stacey). Then I graduated onto a Catholic high school. Catholic. Catholic. Catholic. I know a lot about the faith after attending Catholic school for fifteen years. Fifteen years. I'm only nineteen years old. That is my entire life. Wow.

Anyway, after high school, I started attending a small liberal art college in the Midwest. Let me stress the word liberal. I'd actually like to stress the word so much to change its meaning to socialistic, activists of the atheistic persona. The average student is a socialist freethinker who believe religion is for the ignorant. Okay, maybe I'm being harsh, but it at least appears this way in comparison to my Catholic roots.

I was so comfortable in my little community where I never had to defend, justify, or explain my faith. Now, I'm assumed to have no faith or belief. I have to "out" myself to my friends. It feels so foreign to me.

So what's a girl to do? Well, I can tell you what I did. I chose to take some time off from my faith. I did the normal "college thing" for my first semester. Made new friends. Had new experiences. And goofed off. But slowly, the reality set in. The winter clouds rolled in toward the end of the semester and I started to really debate my faith. I questioned everything I had ever believed. Then I felt overwhelmed. Very overwhelmed. I got scared of my own thoughts and shut them out again.

Since then, I've had some good conversations with friends at home, spiritual life directors at school, religious students on campus, and my mom. I've slowly started to realize that I need my faith. I need my community. I need that love.

But I don't know where I am now. I don't know which faith I identify with, if any. And I don't know what my actual beliefs are. So, I'm gonna share my experiences, findings, and personal discoveries. I'm sure it will be filled with frustration, struggle, and joy. That's why I've got my friend along for the ride.