God, where are you now?

I've been so busy with school, so busy with life, trying not to get run down, but its officially happened. I feel as if I have nothing, I feel as if I am nothing right now. Throughout all of this, the one person I thought I could trust, and who would be there for me finds it easier to walk out, and run away from the problems than to even bother talking to me. He feels as if I mean nothing to him, or at least that's how I see the situation. Last night, I spent 3 hours on the phone with my boyfriend trying to figure things out, and we cant even talk, because he's going to Butler to visit his friends. Yeah I'm happy but when my roommate walks around the room and we cant even speak to each other, my boyfriend cant even be bothered to answer my text messages, how do I feel. Last night, I cried myself to sleep, no not really, I never really got to sleep. I feel as if I have nobody and nothing here, and my first instinct is to blame God? It's really not his fault. I did this entirely on my own.. way to go. Heartbreak is the worse pain anyone could ever feel. When you lose someone close to you, someone you spend your time with, someone whose there for you when no one else really cares, someone who compliments you even if you feel and look like shit, you've lost a really good thing. Honestly, I've come to realized within the past 30 seconds, I really don't deserve anything, no one. I cant even decide who I am as a person, what I stand for and I expect someone else to deal with that, to deal with me. That's crazy. So God, if your reading this, please help him, help him to realize the wonderful and amazing person he is. Help him to find someone that makes him happy, help him to see the amazing person he is. Because deep down, I know it, he has to know it. And dear God, please help me, please guide me in the right path, please be there for me when it feels like no one else is, please please, help me to figure out myself. love always, Stacey